Have you ever feel reluctant to sleep during the night, and refuse to wake up the next day? Sleepiness and late night aside, do you realise that when we are shying away to face something, there would be this reluctance?

Remembered this poem I wrote some time ago, when I was considering of 2 choices.

There I stand under the hot sun
Looking at the crossroad lies in front,
Neither one promises fun,
But which would I eventually take for a run?

The road I took I turned over to look,
Can’t remember why it was
that path I took
There I am, still at the entrance of the 2 routes,
Which one should I place my foot?

The right one is familiar, bright
and sunny
The other clouded with some uncertainty
Otherwise, it looks
identical to every tiny weeny,
Still, which one should i take finally?

“Listen to the sighs of your heart”
The decision should not be too
hard,
At my hand hold the final card,
Or should I just flip a coin to
see my luck….

Here I am, back at square one.
After that one step I took at that time
Was I too afraid to pick the the other one?
Would it be different? Would it be fine?


I realised, there is this hesitancy when I replied certain emails. There is this dread feeling to proceed. Not because afraid of stepping out of the comfort zone, but more of I couldnt commit. I couldnt say I'm doing this because of that. Or that I've made up my mind that I'll do this... because I haven't. It's not that I didn't want to tell, its more to I havent answered to myself. It's not that I havent make decision, it's because I couldnt yet.

Sigh.


Side note: 2008 is the year of change and decisions. Sorry for a gloomy post for the new year though. Happy new year ;)